Is there anything I don't like about Italy?

For those who don't know, Switzerland is like three countries in one: French to the west, German to the north, and Italian to the south. I don't know about the French/German border, but the German/Italian border could not be more distinct. As you travel south you climb higher and higher into the alps until you are at 2000 meters above sea level. It is grey and cloudy and wet and smells overwhelmingly of manure, Grimmsian in its aura. Then you go through the San Bernandino Tunnel, 6600 meters (4 miles) long, and BAM--you come out the other side into a quintessential Italian mountainous countryside. The sun is shining, there are palm trees along the road, architecture is distinctively Mediterranean, and all the roadsigns have changed from German to Italian. I was so startled and delighted by the scenery, both before and after the tunnel, that the kids were sick of me oohing and ahhing. (I was interrupting their concentration on their iPad games.) After winding down to sea level again, the outskirts of Milan were distinctly ugly, and I was disappointed until we got within about 50 km of the coast. From there the mountains began again and we stayed in them until we arrived in Chiavari, about 45 minutes southeast of Genoa. Our airbnb hosts greeted us with snacks and breakfast foods in the fridge, cheerful smiles, and shocked expressions at the number of children I had with me. Our apartment has three bedrooms and plenty of space, in addition to balconies off of every room and views of both the sea and the mountains.

A blurry picture of my bedroom. 

A much better picture of the view from the kitchen.

We spent the evening getting gelato and exploring and decided we were going to love it here.

Joe's first gelato. We've had it almost every single day. Gelato may be the biggest expense of our whole Italian vacation.

The first day was not great for me, and between my feminine cycle and having driven all day the day before, I was wiped out. Gratefully, I have learned that when I feel this bad, I simply need to sleep it off, which I did. Three hours later, the world seemed much more manageable.

Italy was supposed to be a vacation for us, but in order for it to be truly relaxing, I've had to realize and remember a internalize a few things I've been fighting against since leaving Utah in July.

1. This may be the only time in our family life when we are completely unhindered by other peoples schedules: no callings, school, friends, family, etc. That means I need to feel free to do what we want, and what is fun and best for us, and I need to loosen up about schedules.

2. I need to return to the most valuable lesson I learned during our year in Denmark: back then, nine years ago, it was given to me by the Spirit in these words: "if all that happens today is that Isaac learns to put on his shoes himself, then it has been a successful day." Translated into Europe 2015 that means that I need to make sure I have proper expectations: if everyone does their math, reads their scriptures, and I get to spend good time with them, then who cares what sights we see or don't see? Being in Europe doesn't have to mean being trapped by Europe. It can just mean learning together whatever it is we need to learn that day.

So although I still sometimes wake up wondering how I am going to fill the day, and how I'm going to keep everyone entertained or interested, or just plain busy, I more often look forward to enjoying time with my kids and relaxing doing things I want to--taking walks, reading books, and helping my kids with their homework.

Here are some of the highlights of our ten days in Italy:

Sleeping arrangements: I have no picture of this, but my roommate for this leg of the trip is Joe, and I love it. Of course, I love rooming with Ed, but Joe wakes up every morning happy and excited and ready for the day. His joy is contagious, especially since he's not too old yet to give me lots of hugging and kissing and snuggling. Of course, it helps that I've been going to bed early and sleeping soundly for eight hours almost every night so I don't mind being woken up at 6:30 each morning.
     After listening to Isaac and Linda pick at each other for weeks on end, I finally punished them both by making them sit next to each other in the car and share a bedroom until they can learn to get along. They seem to have enjoyed themselves together, and by the end of our week in Italy they are being kind enough to one another that they have moved out of the back seat of the car.

The beach: At first, the kids were really disappointed that this is primarily a rock beach, and not a sandy beach. But they have found enough sand, and also found that they love playing with the rocks, too. They practice skipping them, search for interesting shapes and colors, and build rock castles in the surf. This region, Liguria, is full of marble, and there are marble stones, big and small, all along the coast, just waiting to be discovered by eager hands and sparkling eyes. The first half of our trip the weather was in the low 70s, but we only tried swimming once, and it was pretty cold. That didn't prevent at least the younger three from getting wet almost every time we went down to the beach (which was almost every day). The latter half of our stay turned stormy and cold, so they kept everything above the knees out of the water after that.

Our first swimming excursion. I managed to get in up to my waist, and I my body really wanted to stretch out and swim, but I couldn't take the cold. 

One of many types of marble found in the giant stones forming the breakwater.


Joe told me he wanted to make "sand angels."

Sunday: We are staying in the town of Chiavari, about forty minutes north of Ed's sister Rachel's favorite area from her mission, the town of La Spezia. Since it was the same distance either direction to the nearest church building, we chose La Spezia to see what part of Rachel's life had been like. Once again, I love the gospel, and I love the Spirit I feel in Sacrament meeting, and it doesn't matter what language is being spoken. And people are always so very quick to offer translation--I've never once had to ask anyone. People just guess there is a need and jump to it. My kids doubled the size of the Primary, but the Primary President (I believe she is the entire Presidency and has one other teacher) rose to the challenge of trying to do it bilingually. It turns out that this blessed woman is Sister Margheriti, who Rachel wanted me to say hello to, and I can see why Rachel loves her. She was so good to my kids, despite the fact that my kids were pretty rotten that day. The kids were sure there wouldn't be any Primary because they didn't see any other kids in Sacrament meeting, and when they found out they would have to stay instead of go home early and play with their new legos (that we had bought the day before, to be opened after church), they were unhappy and made sure everyone knew it.
       But after a great time at church (at least for me), we came home and the kids all had their new toys to play with for a few hours. Then we enjoyed a lovely hour or so on the beach watching the sunset and skipping rocks. Sunday can be hard with kids, especially when traveling, but this one, all in all, went well. I had ample experience with the Spirit, which is what I most needed and wanted.

 

Sister Margheriti and I, and Brother Margheriti with the kids. 

Taken from the Strand above the beach.

I love having Mary along on this trip. She rarely complains and makes great and mature company for her mother. We like to sit and talk and laugh together at the park and other places when the other kids are all running and playing. 

Abby can Princess Pose with anything, even a chunk of marble.

The Ropes Course: The first evening, I went out exploring (and trying to find a new SIM card for my phone) and discovered a park with a ropes course in it. We went back the very next morning and luckily, all the kids were big enough to go through it. It took about a half hour, and they all loved it. I was amazed at both Abby's and Joe's dexterity and balance. We went back a week later and did it again--Joe and Linda went twice that day.

Isaac was Abby's spotter.

Mary looked after Joe. (Can you tell he really liked it?)

Linda coming down the zip line.

Here are all five of them on our second time through.

There is another park near our apartment that has a nice playground. We took some balloons there one 
day to run around with, but the kids mostly just wanted to make obnoxious noises with them. 

Santuario Nostri Signora Delle Grazie: Halfway up the mountain from the waterline, and halfway up the
road from Chiavari to Zoagli, lies an old church from the 15th century with ancient and decaying 
frescoes. I wanted to hike the trail from the beach but was pretty sure the kids would make it less than 
fun, so I opted to drive to it instead. We visited it late one afternoon and dropped in on a mass, so instead
of exploring the frescoes, we explored the mountain trails around it. We found an old bunker from 
WWII and Linda's jacket disappeared into thin air. But we got some exercise and fresh air and a 
beautiful view of the Mediterranean in the late afternoon sun.

A view of the church from the beach.

The kids enjoyed climbing all over the bunker, but Mary was less enthusiastic.

Exploring the trails.

Aquario de Genova: On the sunny days we stayed in Chiavari and walked around town or went to the beach, and on the rainy days we planned an excursion. One of the cooler days we drove to Genoa and visited "Europe's Largest Aquarium." Linda says I should have been more impressed, but I thought that being right on the coast there would be a greater number of fish, instead of pictures of fish. I'm not discounting the live dolphins and manatees and piranhas, but it was less extensive than I expected. (I think I have been spoiled for museums forever, living in Chicago for as long as we did--nothing compares to the Museum of Science and Industry, the Shedd Aquarium, the Field Museum, and the Art Institue.)

Oh no! Mary's being eaten by a monster of the deep!

Abby liked the crabs. She takes blurry pictures.

Just outside the aquarium was this restored clipper ship. The kids are preparing to set sail, I guess. 

The Cinque Terre: In 2002, Ed and I took a two-week trip to London and Italy to celebrate finishing his doctoral exams. Almost the whole trip was great, but near the end, the day we were to leave Siena for three days in the Cinque Terre, I woke up at two in the morning with Salmonella. I don't know when I have ever felt so bad as I did those first six hours. After that I was exhausted enough that we had to cancel our trip north, stay in Siena a couple extra days, then head back to Rome to catch our flight home. So the Cinque Terre has been on my bucket list for a few years now. I didn't know if I wanted to try to visit it with the kids, but Isaac and Mary were insistent that they wanted to make sure I got to see the things I wanted to see (bless their hearts), so we spent a long afternoon traveling to Vernazza on the train. It was a quaint little town, and I think my kids were the only kids I saw the entire time we were there. It was crowded with tourists, and I shuddered to think what those narrow streets and small wharf were like in July and August. As it was, we stayed long enough to watch some giant waves on the pier, get some pizza, and catch a train back to Chiavari for some gelato and some time on a larger (and much cleaner) beach. I'm very glad I got to go see Vernazza, but I don't think I need to go back again.

The view down Main Street (the only street) from the train station to the sea. There are no cars in Vernazza, no roads going in--only the train.

We found jellyfish in the harbor! This cured the kids of begging to swim there.

Beautiful big waves.

The view from the end of the breakwater.

The view back through town from the same spot.

I tried to get the kids to let me get a nice photo, but this is all I could manage. The American tourist seated just to the left of the photo were laughing at me trying to convince them all to sit still, look at the camera, and smile.

ME time: My time in Italy has driven me to make a major concession. This is a decision that I have fought every day of this trip, and for many years previous, because it is an issue that calls into question my fitness as a mother, and my self-identification as an intellectual. I'm talking about screen time. Electronics have always been a point of contention, because I want the kids to spend less time with them, and they just want to spend more and more. I would go on, but I think everyone understands this dilemma. Here and now, for the whole world to see and judge, I have decided that for my own sanity, I am no longer counting the number of minutes or hours my children spend on their devices. I do still control what they can do on them--we have days where only educational shows and websites can be viewed, and they have to finish their homework. But on this trip I can't do everything I need or want to do and stay sane if the kids don't have something non-parent-directed to do some (and sometimes MUCH) of the time. We are usually staying in places with no toys, no books, and no yard. While I wish they could just use their imaginations and make up brilliant activities with a paper clip and a piece of paper, that doesn't usually happen. Instead they whine or fight and make Ed and I frustrated. 

     So now I let them go on electronics whenever I don't have something specific for them to do. And it means I have time to read my scriptures, get groceries, plan our trips, make phone calls back home, and there is even less fighting overall. Call me a lazy mom if you want, but this new freedom is liberating, and I hope that as we rejoin Ed on Sunday and travel for another eight weeks, it will mean greater peace and happiness for all the members of our family. 

     You know what I used my newfound freedom to do? Get a massage. I'm addicted to massage, and I haven't had one since we left Utah. I decided to try out Italian massage, and while I had be more proactive about being sure I was actually covered by the drape, the massage itself was very good. The table was actually a heated waterbed (that was surprisingly relaxing) with lights that rotated through the colors of the rainbow slightly faster than I found restful. I know that sounds a little shady, but it was a reputable and very clean spa, so I wasn't worried. And I left feeling looser and relaxed than I have in months. I couldn't resist taking some pictures of the bed: 

Carrara and Lucca: We took our final field trip on Friday, October 16th, knowing that Saturday would be spent packing and getting ready for the drive on Sunday to Austria. We headed to the Carrara marble quarry, where there has been marble mining for more than five hundred years. It is the same mountain, in fact, where Michelangelo and other Renaissance sculptors got their marble. The tour wasn't stellar--they drove us 600 meters into the mountain, we walked around a cool room, then they drove us out. The speech wasn't very interesting to the kids (surprise, surprise), but we did learn a few things. And since there wasn't enough room in the van to take all of us at once, the kids and I stayed behind for the second trip. That meant we got to be alone in the quarry and practice our opera with the awesome acoustics. It was the most fun part of the trip!

Stylin' in the hard hats (that were either too large or had broken straps, so they kept falling off).

This is the "chain saw" used to cut marble blocks. It runs on a track, simultaneously pouring water on the blade and the marble so it doesn't get too hot and shatter the marble. The workmen get to stand and watch for quite a while.

At Christmastime in 1995, when the workmen were cutting the marble from this wall, one piece broke off and left the image of the Madonna and Child. The workmen say she has watched over the quarry ever since, as there have been no accidents in the quarry since the image appeared. 

Here's Abby singing opera in the large room, which has actually been used to stage professional operas, as well as exotic car shows.

Goofing around.

We were done in Carrara by 1:00 and within easy striking distance of both Pisa and Lucca. I had wanted to see Lucca (along with the Cinque Terre) when Ed and I were here before and missed that too, so even though the younger kids just wanted to go home and play on their iPads, Mary and Isaac asked me "Mom, which town is on your bucket list--Pisa or Lucca?" I chose Lucca, and they told the rest of the kids not to whine, because we were going to Lucca. It was nice to have the kids value my feelings.

Lucca is a medieval city with the city walls still completely intact and the old city inside renovated into a luxury tourist center. We parked just inside the massive, 50-foot thick walls (with a beautiful walking path on top, all around the town), and walked through town looking for gelato. Then we walked the walls back to our car and headed out of town. It was fun to see the old architecture, and it is a beautiful spot I would love to come back to with Ed.

Joe at the church tower, flexing his muscles.

Isaac, sitting on his big sister.

And Finally . . . 
On Saturday, we took one more trip out to the beach, as it turned out to be a beautiful and somewhat warm afternoon. Ciao, Italy. I miss you already.